Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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