Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
