She said her name was "party"
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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