This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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