her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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