I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
