When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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