Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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