I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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