I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Alive.
So much puke
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
