Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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