walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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