I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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