I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
