i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
