its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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