Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
