Too much gin, very little bucket
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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