His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
