Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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