Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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