We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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