well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize