Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
