operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize