Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
