Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
