I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
