apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
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Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
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Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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