My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
wow bdsm is so cute
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