Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
