once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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