I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
