So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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