every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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