He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
