i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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