dude i'm inner monologue high
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
only you would photoshop your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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