Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize