please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
