just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
