she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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