Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
