i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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