I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize