i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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