Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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