For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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