If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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