she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
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Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
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There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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