Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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