May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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