So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize