i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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