people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
