i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
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I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
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Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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