Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
