i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
