the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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