i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
