I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize