Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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